-
What It’s Really Like to Co-Parent with a Narcissist
Ever wondered what having a narcissistic co-parent is like? Let me tell you—it’s a constant battle. The Never-Ending Struggle: Unpaid Medical Bills Let’s start with something simple: unpaid medical bills.Per our divorce decree and parenting plan, all medical expenses are to be shared. Sly is responsible for 70% of them. The court document is clear—it…
-
Understanding Narcissistic Abuse This Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Narcissistic Abuse and Domestic Violence Awareness Month This post is being written in observance of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month—also known as National Domestic Abuse Awareness Month. For those of you who have followed my blogs, you know how much I advocate for recognizing the non-visible signs of abuse—the mental, emotional, and verbal abuse that…
-
Co-Parenting with a Narcissist: A Struggle for Control
When Co-Parenting With a Narcissist Becomes a Battle Over Control You all know that when I sit down to write a blog post, it usually means something has happened with Sly. And honestly, it’s not just a one-time thing—it’s a repeated pattern. This time, it revolves around the parenting app we’re court ordered to use.…
-
Finding Hope After Narcissistic Abuse: A Survivor’s Guide
Let’s Talk About Hope Hope. Such a small word, yet it carries a weight that can change the course of a life. By definition, hope is a feeling of expectation and desire for something good to happen. It’s more than just wishful thinking — it’s a belief, a conviction, that something better is possible. To…
-
Narcissism and Alcohol: A Toxic Cycle
Narcissism, Alcoholism, and Living in the Shadow of Both Sly has always been a heavy drinker. In the beginning, when we were dating, it was every single day. And it was never just one beer or one casual drink—it was always a whole six-pack of beer, or four or five “drinks,” usually whiskey poured so…
-
Navigating Co-Parenting with Anxiety: A Personal Journey
Parenting, Anxiety, and the Rollercoaster of Co-Parenting It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post. Honestly, I’ve been overwhelmed—between the nonprofit, parenting, and just trying to hold everything together, I haven’t had much energy left to sit down and write. But I’ve missed sharing, and maybe writing this out will help me breathe…
-
A Narcissist’s Image
There was a post a wrote a while back about a narcissist and their flying monkeys. Often, I refer to anyone who believes a narcissist’s lies, and shuns the narcissist’s victim, as one of their flying monkeys. Sly probably has more flying monkeys than dollars in the bank… and he makes very good money. A…
-
Signs Your Child May Need Therapy After Narcissistic Abuse
I know I’ve written quite a bit about Chloe lately and the things that she’s going through with Sly as her father. In this particular post, I’m going to write about a few scenarios that have taken place lately. It is one of the hardest things I’ve had to do as her mother to watch…
-
Understanding Gaslighting: A Child’s Experience
In my past posts I’ve written quite a bit about gaslighting. Today, I’m going to tell you about something that happened last night, and a perfect example of what it is when a narcissist gaslights their own child. First, let’s revisit what gaslighting is. Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that manipulates the victim…
-
Understanding Narcissism: Impact on Children
I couldn’t think of a better title for this post today. Quite a bit has happened recently, and I’m going to write about these events. I’m also going to write about some of the research I’ve done about how a narcissist treats their children, and why. The stories contained in this post are factual, but…
-
Surviving Narcissism: Navigating Lies and Delusions
Is it lying or is it being completely delusional? First, let’s look at the definitions of both of these terms. According to the good ol’ Merriam Webster online dictionary, lying is defined as “marked by or containing untrue statements: false”. I’m pretty sure all of us know what a lie is. The definition of delusion…
-
Why are they being nice?
There are times when the narcissist is nice, albeit not often. When I say they are nice, I’m talking about the times they’re nice to us, not their flying monkeys or anyone else aside from their victims. But what is nice? To me, it’s when they ask something of you and maybe even include a…
-
What You See Is What You Get
Such a broad title for what I really want to discuss today. I’ve written a lot about what a narcissist is, the characteristics and the things to look for. There are a couple of things I want to discuss here today. The first one is why it is usually only the victim that eventually sees…
-
Using a Child as a Pawn / When a Child Becomes a Victim
I’m sure there’s a better title than that… but today’s post is going to be about how a narcissist uses their own flesh and blood to get what they want and to make themselves look better, or to make others look bad. I’m going to discuss and share with you a few of the recent…
-
Healing and Regaining Ourself
This post is going to deviate a little bit from my other posts thus far. As a victim of narcissistic abuse there are a number of emotional and physical things our bodies and minds go through as we embark on the healing process. The time abused by a narcissist varies and every situation is different,…
-
What is Lost
Not a question, but a statement of what we lose when we go through a separation of any sort from a narcissist. There are losses in any divorce or ending of a relationship, sure. In those cases, you usually lose money, some friends and family on your ex’s side, time with your kids due to…
-
A Victim’s Experience
A Victim’s Experience… Just a few of the things I have personally and recently experienced.
-
Trauma Responses
Today we’re going to address trauma responses – what they are, why we have them, how to live with them, and how to gain back our freedom from them. We’ve already discussed what trauma is in a previous post. For this post, we’re going to discuss the trauma only from narcissistic abuse…because well, that’s what…
-
Flying Monkeys
Today we’re going to talk about the narcissist and their flying monkeys. No, that’s not a term that I came up with, but it is a term often referred to as the people that the narcissists persuade and convince that the victim of their abuse is really the problem. When we think of Flying Monkeys,…
-
A narcissist and a child
As most of you know, I have one daughter, with my ex-narcissistic husband. I have done an exorbitant amount of research and reading about narcissists and how they ‘raise’ and treat their children. I have also witnessed the negative behaviors and words towards my daughter. She is still young, but has been greatly impacted by…
-
Abuse
Hey, everyone. Sorry its been a hot minute since I last wrote, but work has been crazy and we’ve been busy as a family. A lot has also happened recently on “the other side” that I’ll write about in later posts. I’ve been trying to decide what my next blog post would be about, until…
-
What is Trauma?
According to the definition, trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. It can also be some type of physical injury. I am certain that most people, young and old, have experienced some sort of trauma in their life. A death of a loved one, an accident, physical abuse, witnessing a natural disaster, witnessing war…
-
Leading up to Humiliation – a/k/a The Hearing. Will it ever end?
The answer to this question… is simply no. Everything continued the same as it was before. Now that the divorce was final, it didn’t change a thing. Sly still constantly argued about what was “best” for Chloe, and how to make sure he told me how horrible of a mother I was. Then the bad…
-
Mediation to the Final Divorce Hearing
Everything was an argument. I spent most of my days trying to explain things to him, and why he was wrong or hurtful. The hits from him just kept coming. Looking back on all of the messages, it does bring back a bit of the anxiety, anger and helplessness that I felt years ago. Narcissists…
-
Soooo, you think it’s over when you leave? The worst is yet to come.
The day has come, all of your stuff is packed in boxes, you have a basic written agreement about child sharing, you’ve spoken to your child about the separation and upcoming divorce, people are lined up to help you move, and you’re prepared to start off on your new life without the narcissist. That’s all…
-
The A-HA Moment
I’m going to take a moment and write about that “a-ha” moment when you’re sitting there feeling like you’re losing your mind, and you realize you are in fact dealing with a narcissist. When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you often don’t realize it until it’s either too late, or you leave. Truth…
-
And moving on…
I’m going to try and make this the last post on the basic story line… but that will all depend on distractions as it is Monday. The start of 2015 was the same as all of the years past. In the early months of that year we (by we, I mean I) started planning a…
-
Continuing into 2011…
New Year’s was nothing to write home about, but most holidays were ruined in one way or another. January 5, 2011 was a day that would change my life forever, because of the choices I made and because of the actions of one person. I am sure you can guess who that person is. The…
-
Continuing into 2009 on so on….
I’m going to make this next chapter as short and sweet as possible. There are other topics that I want to get into, but I still feel that the base story is important here. At the time, it seemed normal enough and I want to share that. Knowing my experience, and listening to most others…
-
The Beginning
I have a story to tell, and every story has a beginning. My story began in the spring of 2008, on my brother’s wedding day in March. After the ceremony, I remember standing outside the building where the reception was being held. There were two guys standing outside near me, one of them which I…
-
First…some things
Well, we have to start somewhere… People in my life have told me that I should write a book to share my story, my journey, over the past fourteen years or so. I’ve said for years that I needed to write… a blog, maybe? I want to reach people who have gone through, or are…
Narcissistic Abuse Survival
Surviving Narcissistic Abuse, Trauma and PTSD
Narcissistic Abuse Survival 