Narcissistic Abuse Survival

Is it lying or is it being completely delusional? First, let’s look at the definitions of both of these terms.

According to the good ol’ Merriam Webster online dictionary, lying is defined as “marked by or containing untrue statements: false”. I’m pretty sure all of us know what a lie is. The definition of delusion is defined as “something that is falsely or delusively believed or propagated”, or “the act of tricking or deceiving someone”. Go back and read that again.

I saw the below image on social media today, after several accusatory text messages came in from one of Sly’s family members. I found it quite fitting for the subject of the texts, and is what started this post.

I have written about this sort of thing back in a few posts, mainly being in “What is a Narcissist” and the post about the Flying Monkeys. I’ve been accused, and publicly humiliated and bashed on social media (Facebook) by my own family and friends because of these lies that have been told.

I saw this today, and these are almost the exact words of what has been said by Sly and his flying monkeys about me. In the past I’d defend myself, or try to explain how and why that wasn’t me. Over the years I have learned that it falls upon deaf ears. Why? The narcissist knows they’re lying, and they know the truth. They’ve persuaded their monkeys to believe them, so they’re of course not going to believe anything that you say.

I’ve been accused of “abandoning her family” because I wanted a divorce. I wasn’t abandoning anything, but I simply wanted out of the abuse. The words have been said “You know how difficult she is. I tried to even go to counseling with her. I hope she gets the help she needs”. I’ve even had those words said to me… the latest being today.

Everything is twisted, and the truth never gets told. A narcissist will go to the ends of the earth to persuade the people that we love, that we are the problem. Everything that Sly ever did, he’s turned around on me. The very sad truth is, that they will never see it, because they don’t want to.

I do believe that Sly’s Flying Monkeys are not entirely bad people. But, even if the day comes that any of them see the truth, will they admit it? Probably not. No one wants to be wrong for years and then have to admit it. And now, we’ve all learned to live our lives a certain way. It is what it is… I just wish that now, everyone would stay in their own lane and stay out of mine.

So, we know that a narcissist will lie to twist reality and get everyone to believe you are a horrible person. But where was I going with the delusional part? Let’s go back and read the definitions….

You know how it is sometimes said that if you tell a lie so many times, you start to believe it? Isn’t that kind of what delusion is? A lot of what has been said and also plastered over the internet from Sly and his flying monkeys, is a hugely fabricated story of what really happened, trying to persuade everyone of exactly the opposite of what really happened.

Since all of this has happened, over the years Sly and at least one of his flying monkeys (his mother) has reached out to Jake among other people trying to deceive them and tell them… well… that I’m delusional, lying, that I need help, and that they’re only trying to keep the peace and participate in co-parenting. <insert eye roll here>

What it comes down to, is that narcissists like Sly are liars. Their aim is to get all of your family and friends on their side, and keep them there, so they can keep feeding them with lies and fabrications about you. The poor flying monkeys… they become delusional and are just absorbing all of the lies.

For those of you thinking of leaving a narcissist, or for those of you that have left and are still in the midst of trying to navigate a normal life without a narcissist… please know that there is always the possibility of them or someone from their “circle” trying to disrupt your life on the daily. If you’re leaving or have left, and do not have children together…block them. Block all of them and their flying monkeys. If you do have children together, be prepared for this constantly.

I know this was not a normal informative post, but I thought of something I thought would be a good subject to write about that was jogged by a text message from a certain flying monkey to Jake…out of the blue. Mainly saying how delusional I am, that I am a miserable person and just trying to drag others down… oh and that she prays that I find happiness, for Chloe’s sake. There comes a point, when you just have to say “if it doesn’t involve my child, we have nothing to discuss”.

Even though I started this blog to help others by telling my story, and doing tons of research… I am still only human. Every once in a while, I’m going to write a post, and it’ll be like this one which is more along the lines of venting. The text messages today baffled me. If someone has an issue with me, why not come to me directly? Oh…because you’re trying to persuade someone that I love that I’m a bad person. That’s why they do it…

I started this blog to tell my story. I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse, and my goal is to let others who have experienced this type of abuse know they are not alone.

If you are ever in a situation where you need professional help, I urge you to seek out a counselor, therapist or even a psychologist that specializes in narcissistic abuse. Please ask on this because it is hard to find one. Even if you think you don’t need it, it doesn’t hurt to reach out to talk to someone. A good therapist will open your eyes to your own potential and give information on coping strategies and how to get your life back.

I am very thankful for my readers, and my followers. I know that in the beginning, I had no one that understood. I found a counselor who was amazing, and who coached me through. I also found an online support group with a group of women who were going through the same thing. We all have slightly different experiences, but have all experienced some sort of narcissistic abuse… that’s why I started this blog, and my Facebook page. No matter what, you are not alone, and I’m always here if you need me. Please feel free to message me directly.